Life. It used to be so simple. Wake up, go to school, come home, do chores and homework, go to bed, and then start all over the next day. I miss the simple times. But before we can move on to the main subject of this blog, a little bit of background must be set.
I was born in the late 1980's to a single mom getting ready to graduate high school. We lived in a small town, and I mean small. Her graduating class only had 12 students including her. My biological dad was rarely in the picture, but not because he was a dead beat. My mom just didn't want him around that much. He was a major part of my life up until my mom met my other dad. (For the purpose of this blog and to keep from putting names out on the Internet, my biological dad will be referred to as bio dad and my step dad will be known as dad. Mainly because that is how I refer to them even now to avoid confusion.) My mom met my dad when I was one, got married, got pregnant again, and then my dad adopted me after a long battle to get my bio dad to sign over parental rights. We eventually moved to a slightly larger town a few miles away, but it wasn't a whole lot better. Blah, blah, blah.
I had one really good friend growing up. We both lived in the outskirts of this dinky little town and attended the same school. We had the same upbringing, basically not really exposed to many things going on outside our little town. Somehow, her and I always seemed to manage to put placed in the same classroom every year. It was nice having at least one person to always pair up with. We were nearly inseparable up until the fifth grade. My grades were slipping due to what the teachers called, "talks too much in class." I know they called it something different but I am not sure what it was anymore. My whole life changed, in a way, when my parents told my brother and I that we were moving. I know that this may seem boring at the moment, but to understand what I have gone through, you must start at the beginning. Even if it was long before all the "excitement" started.
After I moved to what seemed to be yet an even smaller town, life became extremely boring. I basically lost all contact with my only friend, and was thrown into a close-nit community where I knew no one. I eventually made friends, and enemies for that matter. I ventured into the wilds of pre-teen and teen dating. My version of dating was not really like that of all my peers. I would only go as far as spending countless hours on the phone, being side-by-side, and holding hands. I never even got to kiss my first real boyfriend. (I eventually did :) and WOW it was always what I had dreamed it would be)
High school graduation came and went. I was still the homely person I was basically raised to be. I had lost touch with almost all my friends from school which sent me into a workaholic-type state. One day, I got a wild hair up my ass and decided I was going to college. I applied to several schools, some of which didn't make sense. I finally decided on nursing. All the people I knew from grade school became my friends again and I would spend as much time as I could with them to escape the dreaded black hole I called my existence. Spending so much time at the college spiked my interest in the lovely, yet disgusting world of alcohol.
There you have it. The first 19 years of my life in a some-what brief blog post. I understand that it may be a little vague, but once we get further into the story it will become apparent how not only my life, but my brain has been effected by the use of controlled substances and alcohol. From the research I have done, the memories that I have lost, I will never get back. Which hurts me deeply, especially memories of those who have passed on. Hope I have sparked an interest with this mildly boring story. I will post the next chapter shortly.
